Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
