Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We just shotgunned beers for America
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
