I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
