I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
