in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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