only if we run a train.
done.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
What drink are we having for lunch?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
