he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize