its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
