Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Be still, my beating vagina.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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