All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
