I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
