You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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