just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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