At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
