once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
