so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
