sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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