Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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