can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
