let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
