No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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