She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
