My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
