So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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