the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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