I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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