marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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