why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
