I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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