He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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