Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
