apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
