Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can't turn off my feet"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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