remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
