I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
