ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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