I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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