Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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