I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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