I need help removing her.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
