Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize