I cannot find my penis.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
