you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
