I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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