The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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