This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
