Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
