I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
