What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
