What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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