Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
