Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
