Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
