I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
