Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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