quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
