if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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