Just mADE A PArabola og urine
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
