Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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