I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize