i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
