FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
