like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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