PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
