All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
