I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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