Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
