Dual....:-)
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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