Dual....:-)
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
