Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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