A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize