I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize