Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
