i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
PANTIES FOUND
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
