they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
