you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
