nut hugger
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
