I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize