I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
